None is born tough, situations make people tough!

True, born as naïve babies, whilst growing up we come across situations, which make us tough. The experiences might be positive or negative but the outcome is always good and constructive--- it teaches us to be more patient, forgiving and sometimes assertive.
Our experience maybe in the form of what we learn from others or our own experience.
While discussing something with a close friend a few days back I was stuck with a statement, that sometimes I think I know a lot. That I believe I have seen life more closely than my counterparts.
A question often pricks me, at 23 am I more mature than I should be or I am still juvenile. I keep on thinking about it over and over again. Like everyone else, I too have a few shades to my personality. I belong to the people with ‘multiple personality’. Is it an abnormality? Would the people around me be harsh if I get into my real self? ‘My Real Self’ which is a loner. Sometimes I realize that I am selfish, stubborn. No matter how difficult the situation is I can easily cope up with the severity of the pain and tensions around me. Nothing can touch my soul. I don’t know whether rebirths take place or not but if they do then the soul is ages old, it has in it the memories of yesteryears. And now… even when the same soul is dwelling in a new body it had not befriended it enough to share with it the stories of its varied births. It is ironic but a piercing truth! When the soul is not true to the body, when the soul is enlightened enough to keep its secrets protected why should we, the human beings take sadness to our heart.
Most of the time we waste our time in befriending people, talking about silly things, trying to hold people in our life, we try being a part of the happiness of the newborn, the funeral. Funeral, why do we cry when a close one passes away? It is understandable that we are shattered (for the time being) with the loss of the beloved, the pain which comes with separation, the worldly separation. However, some people have the tendency to be ‘touched’ as they say by the pain of others when they see the funeral of others. We should cry over the pain of others only if we can avoid the pain… but death is the most bitter truth in the entire world. Unbiased, baffling, uniform. Unbiased towards any gender, ‘No Reservations’ , baffling, mysterious and secretive, uniform, for the rich and the poor, no discrimination at all. NOONE has ever escaped the pangs of death- sooner or later. Then what makes us cry when we see someone dying? Is it the fear of seeing oneself in a similar situation, a deathbed? This thought, if paid attention to makes one shiver. We live for about 70 years (on an average), of which we spend 23/24 years securing the remaining life, it takes about 3/4 years settling in life and then children, job pressure, why? For a good living? Is money the only parameter of measuring the so called good life? What about the quality of life we want to lead? Ever thought of the occupation you would have chosen had there been no money constraint? Most Of us would choose something which we are not into WE COMPROMISE AT EVERY STEP, sometimes we sacrifice our love, career, dreams…we have become businessmen and women, we have strated thinking too much before leaping .However we end up building a platform for the future generation and this cycle continues. There seems nothing wrong in following this because, we are ‘Social Animals’ but does dwelling in the society mean only taking care of our family? If we are a Social Animal, this social aspect should cater to the society as a whole, with special inclination towards the family.
Its not very difficult to do it, all one needs to do is to realize that our children, for whom we work hard would also study in the schools and colleges we can contribute to in terms of our knowledge, hey would also walk on the same streets on which we spit and throw garbage, they would also use every droplet of water we might save. Lets be selfish, today if we pay our little tribute to old age shelter homes, orphanages , tomorrow those old age shelter homes might be a place we might want to be in when our children settle abroad or whenever we feel lonely we would go to spare some time with our peer group.
These small things, if taken care of can make the world a better place to live in. Curbing terrorism, freeing the society from dowry, illiteracy might be a distant dream but keeping this mother earth where all of us live is a DUTY.
When I started writing this blog I had a motive to write, a topic to elaborate on but now I have written about something different from the topic I had conceived before beginning to write. But a true blogger is one who is able to express and share his thoughts with others. The words kept catching momentum with the threads of thoughts that sprung and I went on typing.
Excuse me for the non-sequential expression of thoughts but I am sure this blog would make you think about what is written in it, even if for a moment. And that one moment would make this blog a success!

CELEBRATING WOMANHOOD


I recently saw the movie ‘Devaki’. The movie shows the life of a girl born in a metro and another Dalit female staying in a village. Towards the end, both realize that their life was somehow the same. Isn’t it still true? The male dominated society, who bothers or cares for a woman anyways? NO ONE... there’s just a bunch of men and women who talk of women liberation and then there is disparity between them. Right from a male wanting to sit on the driving seat when a woman is with him, to a brother dominating his sister by not letting her go out late at night, and why? Because another man might be waiting outside just ready to pounce on her!

MEN MEN and MEN everywhere, the fathers of most educated daughters treat their wives, their better half, as doormats. Use them in the silence of the night with or without their consent and frown at the rape cases mentioned in the newspaper. So much hypocrisy? Just on the basis of one organ?

As a child, I took pride in being a female child, I always teased my brother showing him all the clips n fancy dresses I had, and today it seems my life is confined just to them. The irony is, that we have accepted this as a normal course of our lives. We feel great when our partners dominate us. ‘Dominate’...When and by whom? Yes, dominated by ‘one’ and ‘all’!! The only condition is perhaps...by a male!!

The first cry of the baby girl brings frown sometimes. In India, when a male child is born people sing jingles and bang the plates to produce sounds to let everyone know that the one who will brighten up the name of the family has arrived. Here starts the disparity… why? Because the son will give fire to the dead parent’s body.

People say parents are selfless. If they are so selfless then why is it that before celebrating the happiness of the newborn they celebrate that their key to the lock of heaven has arrived?
The mother who has herself been through the trauma of the disparity becomes the source of the very first differentiation when she ‘allots’ duties to her children...Ah! her GIRL CHILD & her SON. Then there is a strict vigilance on the girl child and at every step her potential is suppressed.

Finally she gets married, hoping to be loved by the ones who r taking her with so much pomp and show. There too begins a new tale of allotment of duties. A woman be it working or a housewife, remains to be a ‘woman’. Finally she gives birth to another daughter and the story continues. The only difference being the increase in her duties with the passage of time.

It takes a few seconds for 10 men to ruin a girl’s image and a million efforts on a woman’s part to make ‘her’ man happy!!

The saga of this disparity is, and will remain omnipresent, just like god. In every sphere, in every field. The only way through which we can reduce this disparity is perhaps, by making women respect women. Mothers respecting their daughters and mothers-in-law respecting their daughters-in-law.

The society has to change and we, the women can initiate this change.
Would their ever be a day when no one would have to write on this and a woman will not be reduced to pity & disgrace? ‘NO’, this seems to be a distant dream, A forbidden truth, which everyone knows and still tries to hide under the disguise of the 4 walls of his house.
Let’s stop celebrating womanhood and start initiating equality.
I just wish for the day when the comparisons stating “GUYS GEAR UP...GIRLS HAVE AGAIN SCORED MORE MARKS IN CBSE!!” Stops. As if, someone who couldn’t do it has done it. Doesn’t this line reflect the mindset of our society? IT DOES!! The pain that comes with being a woman doesn’t stop here. It’s a saga which has no end. All it has is the dreadful, pitiful screams which subside only to change a young chirpy woman into the veil of a woman who learns to hide, her tears and pain which disappears in the silence of her life, TO BE IN PAIN, UNTIL DEATH!!!